Either or, neither nor.

Assalamualaikum people !

Okay I dont know why suddenly I want to update my blog, no im not even sad right now haha. I am so so full I feel like my stomach is bursting. Plus, I feel like writing. Its been a while since I expressed my thoughts so why not? Im in my after-mid-sem-break- week which is pretty leisure but I am demotivated as hell. I am just a wreck. I dont feel like doing anything and I am very homesick. Ugh, thats why I hate going back home if my holiday is just for a while. Because after coming back here, I'll be sad and all. But sometimes it's worth it tho. Yes, Im 20 and still that clingy to my parents T.T ~ Oh My Lord. I am 20 already this year. What the hell. Time sure flies but really, tell me how to enter adulthood when you are just not ready? Next time I'll be suprised that I already got my degree, have job, get married with kids and yada yada yada~ what a life. Im not ready for all of that.

Im still just a young girl who just know how to fangirling.......lmao

Okay lets put that aside. I cant wait to meet my girlfriends this weekend ! Please, make it happens ! I miss them so much, I think its been a year already? Sure, a LOT OF THINGS to catch up. It's 2018 ! And also, one of my besties/study partner in high school is going to Japan ! Yeah yeah. That feeling again. Indescribable, but I can feel it. We used to study together back then , stay up until late late nights, doing various things. Lol I mean, subjects. I need someone to keep me focus and sane if Im studying and yes, she's the one. Plus my burung hantu partner. AAAA i miss those moments when we talked about random things late at night, will go to these concerts in future, spilling secrets, dumb jokes. I am grateful because I had such amazig friends during my high school year. Damn I think most of my posts, I mentioned about my high school moments and friends. I am so lame. University life did treat me well guys, dont worry. It's not that I cannot move on, it's just a super amazing experience in my phase of life I cannot not recalling them sometimes. And because, it taught me a lot about life.

Seriously, I dont know what will happen in future. Nobody knows, right? So dont ask me something I do not know. Dont ask me to decide. If it's bound to happen, IT WILL HAPPEN. Dont force me to feel what I dont feel. I dont even know about my feeling. Sometimes I can be super lovey dovey and clingy and over-confidence, and sometimes I will be annoyed with all these things and I refuse to be so sure about something that is unclear. Trust me, been there done that. I dont want to believe people so easily when I'll get nothing in return. Time sure is moving, and I need that. There's nothing to rush, right? I'll ask HIM to give me the best things, that HE knows will make me happy, here and hereafter. When it feels right then InsyaAllah I'll decide. But it's too early now.

Okay I wrote a lot. Ugh, feelings gonna dieeee. When will I ever stop complicating things?
Till then, pray for me and my endeavor !

mynn

10;52 pm