Last Teen Year.
So today is 27th of May, My birthday. Well, Happy birthday to me. Today is also the first day of Ramadhan of this year, 2017. Alhamdulillah, couldnt be more blessed. As you know I am at home now. To be able to break the fast together with my family is the best gift ever for my birthday. I really mean it. It had been years since I could not spend the whole Ramadhan month at home because of hostel and college but this year is an exception. I am so delighted. Cant wait to Raya but after that I'll be taking MUet. Dang. I havent study anything yet, I dont know what to study, I dont have any muet books with me, for sure I am doomed. When I thought I dont have to take Muet this early but you know, sometimes it didnt work the way how you plan it. What a crisis.
I had received quite a lot of wishes, thank you. I am loved. Or am I? At least, I have some people around me that I can always turn to. And yes, growing up, I know that is enough. I learned how not to expect more, because......people can change. I am not surprised anymore if people dont even pull that prank on me on my birthday because....maybe people just dont care that much about me. I am pretty sure I dont do bad to anyone as far as I know, but why? I also want to feel that feeling of tadaaa! Surprise! And give me a cake and balloons- welp, its not happen in real life I guess. Or is it just my life. I learned it the hard way. I remember feeling so devastated of not receiving such surprises, or present, or the people I thought will be my first wisher didnt even give me a birthday wish at all. When I was 16, I was that happy birthday girl who thought her life is perfect, she has everything, even her birthday was lit. Her special friend gave her a kinda surprise she never felt like that before in her entire life, but little did she knows several years later, her birthday became as gloomy as it can be. Alone.
Talking about that used to be special friend, I had received a wish from him. It took me two years to finally be like ' okay, im done with this feeling.' I dont really know why a notification from him is always there every year, saying happy birthday to me. Last year, I was really broken I was like wth did you want from me again after all the things that you did, jerk? But hey, I am being rational this year. I convinced myself that I am so over him. I can reply his message as cool as I can be. Not the short one, but to know whats up with his life and stuff, Dont get me wrong. I just dont want to run away forever. Till when? So I guess this year is a start of something new. Our conversation had over, btw. It is funny indeed, to have such normal conversation after years of not talking to each other. To act like nothing had ever happened between us. I guess I am really a grown up girl. I feel gross thinking how stupid I am who used to cry my heart out over a..........worthless love. He's not any closer to the boy I used to love before. Just let love die in the good way.
I think thats all. I ve been thinking how I am gonna update my wattpad, to remember my pains and all in writing a good story since I had totally moved on........can I not updating it? But me myself want to see a complete online novel written by me. I am not that talented though, it is more to a diary instead of a real deal novel storyline. I am so complicated!, but since when Im not? haha. Till then guys , xoxo
and lastly, Happy Birthday to myself.
Lets find you yourself a happiness youre looking for, shall we?
First thing first, appreciate all the good things happening now in your life.
mynn
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