Hurts more than a heartbreak.

Assalamualaikum, and hello people.

So its been quite a month since the last update. And you can guess why I am suddenly posting something here tonight. Yes, I have a problem. Not quite a problem, its more to life hits me to the rock bottom and pushing me so close to tears, again. But yeah, that is how life supposed to be anyway. Life aint a fairytale ! I cant really tell you the problem here because it is so personal, as private as it can be, but lemme tell you how I feel. I am so sad right now, like real sad, Not frustrated or angry or whatnot, it is just sad. And empty. It is scary what the future holds especially when you know its not going to work the way you wanted it to be, and you just have to wait for it to happen soon because basically you cant do anything about it; or change it. And when it involves the ones who you dearly love. Your world, your family. I dont know what to say guys. Yesterday I have no idea this thing would happened, and few minutes before my mom told me the news I was giggling over some stupid jokes with my siblings, when suddenly I saw my mom's crying.

I have to work hard. Harder, from now on. I am going to miss them so bad because they had been the crucial part of my life. They are everything to me. They bring joy and happiness to us, They had been here since 3 years ago, how can we dont love them? I am going to miss everything including their nice smell when I kissed them every morning. Ah, talking about this make me wanna cry. I actually did cry a little bit this evening but I am okay after then, but right now I feel like my heart's sinking to the ground. Ya Allah, please please dont let this happened. I dont know what to do. I dont want to see any of my family members' tears again. I hate it. Its okay if I am crying but not them, please. Just. Not. Them. They dont deserve this at all. They had been my source of strength since God knows when without even me realizing it. Yea, you wont notice the bounties that He gave to you until suddenly you just lost everything you had and there's no point looking back.

How can someone be so thoughtless? And selfish. He cant force her to stop working, suddenly, for God's sake? She tried her very best to have her dreamed career and now everything is just gone? Okay. You will not know what I am talking about. You have no idea at all. It's okay. Just dont mind me. I just need to let this feeling go. Sad people writes, clear? If youre happened to read this, just pray to HIM, for me and my family are able to get through this hard time. I have nothing, guys. I have nothing in this world, except just them. Nobody who loves me despite of who I am instead of only them. Family comes first, no matter what. I hope none of you will feel what I'm feeling tonight.

Because it hurts more, more than you will ever thought it will be.

mynn

11;33 PM