Eighteen.

( yesterday, to be exact)

Assalamualaikum, earthlings.

So yesterday is my birthday. It wasnt the best day of my life, I never had a proper celebration when it comes to a birthday party. My first and last was when I was 1 year old girl who knows nothing, at that time. We as a family never took the birthday celebration as the obligation, the must have event every single year. Redha je. Hahaha. But my age is increasing. Im officially eighteen now. Eighteen is not an age where you can play anymore with your life, I think everyone's aware of that. We must think seriously , deeply, about our future, what are we gonna be, what are we gonna learn, entering college and so on, new life begins. It is scary, where no one will anggap you as a little girl anymore. Whether you re ready or not, its your time now to act like an adult. Im not ready. Yes, eventhough Im the kak long, the eldest daughter in the family but my parents never, ever consider me as one. They did everything to me, and at this point, I never really can breath alone. I still need them even when going to bank where most of my friends can just settle their things alone without parents following them, but Im not. Sigh.

When will I learn to be that kind of independent girl? I guess time decides everything for now. Im so scared when Im thinking about future. Well, it is quite exciting but at the same time, nervous is still there; the reason why I keep on overthink over most things that will happen or was happened before. Its eighteen. Its okay now to be hurt, to hurt, to lose friends, to let them walk away, to meet new people, to enjoy the ride called life. It isnt a fairytale but you always can act like a princess in your own life. Ready to chin up , to against all battles , to be a loser, but then, be that winner again. Its life, anyway, what do you expect from it?

Im so so thankful and grateful and only Allah knows how happy I am when I received those heartfelt warm wishes, thank you so much guys. May Allah bless all of you and ease your journey, ease your life. Eventhough I thought some of the people around me are forgetting me, maybe it is just my problem with my stupid thinkimg. Stupid negative thinking. There are also people who I keep in touch with but they dont wish me, Idk what are their plans or maybe they just have their own reasons why they dont, Im okay dont worry. Undertands, Totally. I also want to thank everyone who still stay with me, no matter how annoying I can be sometimes, how jerk, how kuat I can merajuk, how manja, how typical, how overthink I am, I dont know why people can cope with the flaws in my DNA traits (haha) thank you guys, thank you. And also for being my strength to move on, to be my source of nasihat when I need those, to hear all my shitty problems, to provide me with smiles, and laughs, and love that can only be felt with a true heart. Thanks Allah , for these people around me. And not to forget, thank you my parents, for taking a good care of me until now. for being my one and only sumber kekuatan in this dunya, thanks sibs, for letting me to become myself-how crazy I ve become in front of them without having to faking something, thank you. May Allah grants all of you the most sweetest blessings, and place all of you in the Highest Jannah in the hereafter.

First wisher goes to, someone who I cant even understand why he was still manage to wait (maybe?) and yeah, if he became the first wisher then you could tell by yourself how early was that, during 27th May 2016. I didnt even wish for his bday last year, yeah, question mark again and again. Maybe it was because of nothing. Nevermind. We, are never ever ever, getting back together.

Have a nice day everyone! Eighteen and legal...............it includes on the road too, but my driving license is still, calmly resting in my purse. (it gonna die soon) (didnt drive for months)

Mynn

9:57 PM