Runaway.

Assalamualaikum, Harluuuuuu.

Kerap pulak update blog eah sekarang. Padahal nothing menarik to share pun. These days are very hectic ya knoe. I cant stop thinking. I cant stop worrying. I cant stop praying. HELLZ ! My mereput days are long gone, They will be missed. Rest in peace yaw. Im waiting for the day ~~~ padahal lambat lagik. Tapi cuak semacam lah dol. EPT lah APT lah alaaaaaaa otak dan berkarat berkulat ni! Macammana I polish my english skills (k bajed ada skills sket) = Love, Vivy. What a good ....show series ! Reality life show series. Ok, whatever you name it. I really adore her from the start I bought the hijabista mag with her as the cover up girl. She is so pritz ! Jelly beans haunted me everytime she shows her house, her loving yet so close to be perfect husband and both cute kids. Im in love, enough said. Not just that, her workers also. Really wants to be a part of Fashion Valet team ! How how tell me how! Is the course Im taking compatible and suitable enough? Maybe I can be their ........kk I have no idea.

I love how they talk. Yeah they mix malay and english but their pronounciation is choltae 100% ~~ K nak cakap tu je sebenarnya. HAHAHA. I am honoured if someday I can work inside ehat we called dunia fesyen. Fashion world. Imagine youre surrounded with a lot of beautiful dress and shawls and blouse of etc etc Im blessed !! Thats business. Maybe I can take the business course instead. Hahaha.

And also, zaman zaman selepas mengetahui UPU ini sangat emo jadinya diri yang naif ini. Haih. Now it makes me realize that the real life starts now ! We have a responsibility to carry on our shoulders and trust me-if youre not strong enough then, you wont go anywhere. I hope I can have that titanium heart. That kepala besi ferum so I wont be scared with hardships or easily feel offended of what people say. That wont happen, sadly, because that is so not me. Eventhough Im using Johanne as my nickname in this blog but I am not the real life Johanna you recognize in the novel. Im not the reality person of her. Im not. No matter how hard I tried but I will always ended up to wipe away my tears. I need a shoulder to cry on :')). Sometimes  I wonder how they can cope with the situation? Who I mean are those people who bears a lot of dissapointments than I did. Is it true that they didnt feel anything? How they can handle their own feeling to hide the sadness and carved a smile on their face when their heart is more than enough to be said as 'broken in pieces?' Thats what I lack off. Thats what until now, I feel like Im a loser.

Handling my own feeling.

I hate it when people terasa terasa with me. I will do my best to try to fix everything back to the normal situation. Only and if only thats my fault lah. Kalau salah mereka bapakk ah nak merajuk 1000 tahun pun kalau tak sembahyang apa gunanya. EH. punchline tak jadi hahahaha. Kk. Im very good at handling people's feeling-but not my own feeling. It always feels complicated more than addmath that I hate. Shire000000 shire0000 naneun shire000.

How to change to be better? A better me. A better NAD.

That thang, I dont know how, until now.

Mynn.

12:51 AM